How To Create (and Limit) Your Guest List
Start early to determine your vision
One of the very first things to consider when beginning your wedding planning process is the size of your event. Guest count influences many other factors, including the ability to determine a realistic budget and find an appropriately sized wedding venue.
Whether you prefer a small and intimate wedding or have always envisioned an extravagant affair, it is crucial to agree on the size of your wedding as soon as possible with your partner. Before you allow the influence of family and friends, we suggest privately deciding on the scope of the event so that you can stand firm in your decision once your loved ones begin giving their input.
The earlier you know what you want, the better prepared you will be for the months ahead. If you know you plan to elope or keep it small and intimate, you can even mention this as people congratulate you on your engagement to mitigate the expectations of family and friends.
Draft an initial guest list
Once you have established an idea of size, you can work together to create an initial potential guest list. We suggest drafting this list in a spreadsheet or through an online guest list tool for easy saving/editing/calculating etc. Start by listing those closest to you – the people you could not imagine the day without. Once you have worked through the VIP guests, continue with any others you want to include. It can be helpful to color-code or otherwise organize your guest list by close relatives, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances, work-related connections, etc.
Once you have worked through creating the initial list, you’ll have a clearer idea of whether you have room to spare or need to start downsizing. If you have room to spare – consider reaching out to your close family members to ensure you aren’t missing anyone important.
The Venue
Once you have clarified your vision and budget, and determined an estimated guest count, you are prepared to begin shopping around for wedding venues. We have gone over this process in detail here, which may help you determine the hard limit on your guest count. If you are trying to limit your guest count, choosing a venue with a smaller capacity gives you an easy excuse and a built-in hard boundary for keeping the guest list on the smaller side.
Need to make some cuts?
Nobody enjoys this part of wedding planning. Some skip it altogether and go for the giant wedding, and if that works for your vision and budget – we fully support it! However, if you need to make some cuts, here are some suggestions from industry professionals that might help you navigate this process.
Kids
One way to downsize the guest list is to specify it will be an adult-only celebration. While we love to see the minis dressed to the nines – we can also admit that a lot of the wedding day is lost on them and parents often appreciate the excuse to take a night off from the kids if they can.
This may be a non-negotiable for you, especially if you have kids of your own - which is completely understandable! However, if not, this can be a relatively simple line to draw in the sand to slim down your list. This may also simplify your planning process as planning snacks/food and activities for a wide age range of kids while maintaining an upscale wedding atmosphere can be challenging.
Plus Ones
If your list is made and you find yourself over the limit – you may want to reconsider the plus ones you are inviting. It is best to stick to one principle for all to avoid offense. Cutting plus-ones for those not in long-term relationships is a reasonable request. If space is limited in your venue, it is understandable to prioritize your immediate family and close friends over plus-ones that you may have never met or may never see again.
To avoid guests adding unexpected plus ones to their RSVPs, we suggest utilizing digital RSVPs that will not allow that option. You can also consider including some verbiage on your website or RSVP card about the topic. “We are honored to have you as a guest at our wedding. Due to venue capacity, we have reserved _ seats in your honor”.
Coworkers
Do not feel obligated to include all your coworkers on your guest list, particularly if you don’t spend time with them outside your work environment. Refrain from discussing the details of your wedding/planning with your work friends and keep your decision consistent across the board to avoid offending anyone. It is reasonable to let your coworkers know that although you’d love to include everyone, you’ve decided on an intimate gathering with just close friends and family.
Returning The Invite
Are some guests/couples on your list purely because you were invited to their wedding? If this was years ago and your relationship is not as close since then, consider this your permission to make that cut. They have been through this same process; they will most likely understand better than anyone else why you had to make this call.
Whatever size wedding you decide is right for your vision and budget is the right decision. This is a day to honor the love between you and your partner, and while everyone will have input for you – the right choice is ultimately the one that will make you happy.
Thank you for taking the time to read through our blog! It is our hope that every couple diving into the wedding planning process finds the right resources, vendors, and wedding venue to help make that process fun for them.
As the owners of a small, family-owned and operated wedding venue – we are dedicated to creating awareness around the importance of choosing a locally owned wedding venue (as well as locally owned, small business vendors!) Locally owned wedding venues and vendors often provide the best and most personalized wedding experience, support the local economy, and usually play an important role in the communities they exist within –your patronage is deeply appreciated and reaches farther than you may imagine.
To support other locally owned wedding venues and vendors, we are featuring five locally owned, small-business wedding venues from around the country in each of our blog posts. Check out these other small-business venues at the links below.
Somos Family Weddings & Events
Photography Credit: Destinee LeBlanc Photography